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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

blogging the bach 2.5

i heard nothing about sunday night except someone on snapchat said "i guess this is the samantha and joe show now". ugh!
who's watching:celsey, amanda, lacey-small crowd tonight

we start out with joe.again. he manipulates samantha to not go on the date with justin
his monotone voice drives me crazy--lacey
i don't understand why she said yes to him and not the other guy--cel
i've never heard a 30 year old man say it's not fair so much--amanda
i'm pretty sure amber is darker than you--cel to me

chris b arrives. all the guys are mad another guy is here. chris drinks and drinks all day long and asks tenley on the date. joshua basically steals the date card and chris leaves.
chris is so wasted--lacey
if this is your fifth time on the show, shouldn't you have learned by now not to drink so much
you need to go drink about a gallon of water homie--cel
how is ashley s still here? she's crazy--lacey

amber and justin on a date. they come back and dan and amber have a talk.
let's make dan jealous. that's real mature--amanda
she's like i'm with the whitest white man who's actually red--cel
sponsored by the honest company--lacey (we have a little inside joke about how terrible the honest company sunscreen is)
you knew you had feelings. you said you wanted to make him jealous--amanda
how great, i was making out with someone else and thinking of you--cel
ya cuz that's what she wants to hear--amanda when dan says they will be friends after the show is over

tenley and joshua on a date
why do they keep going to guadalajara?
the only one that has worse tattoos than his (joshua) is my cousin--cel
they have gotten super cheap on their dates--lacey
tenley has the perfect little body for a romper--cel and we're all jealous
if tenley is the one with the pregnancy, i'm going to die--cel

back at the house
that dang silver eye shadow is back--cel about carly
everyone thought sam was psycho too, but now everyone's forgotten--amanda

rose ceremony FINALLY
what's with that tie? it's not even a real tie. it's a zip up--lacey
why is she throwing a pity party for herself--lacey about amber
i specialize in text messages--cel after ashley i says she is a good writer
wow! every adjective there is in websters--cel
listen lady you have one guy that likes you--lacey about amber
you make out with all your friends? i don't--cel
they only come around every bachelor season--cel
i hate dan right now--amanda
dan, love you bro but you're an idiot--cel
chris didn't even last as long as the flight to get there--lacey
unwillingly wifed up--lacey about jared and ashley i
we're all in a little shock that samantha gave her rose to dan
she's like a praying mantis--cel about samantha
she was literally just talking about love at first sight with him an hour ago--amanda
there's no way you made it through middle school with no drama--cel
he's so obsessed with her he can't even be mad at her--amanda
samantha and joe are the biggest snakes ever. we all get why dan talked to samantha because it was his last prayer to stay, but she is awful. dan is not smart for wanting to be with her.
is she a pathological liar and can't remember her lies--amanda
she's a terrible fake crier--lacey

chelsie arrives and everyone is so tired. all of a sudden it's morning. we all think she's taking dan but no-she asks nick.
i like carly right now--lacey
they don't even care that she's pretty--amanda about samantha
i'm 48 and i'm a personal trainer and when i'm 80 and can't do that anymore i'll just be on food stamps--amanda when nick said he's a personal trainer
he didn't seem to care about her weirdness the other day--cel (nick wants to get away from ashley s and her weirdness)

mckenzie arrives and gets the scoop. she talks to a few guys and asks justin.
amber all of a sudden is interested in justin.
you're right. after this show you have to become a nun--cel (amber freaks a little)
i don't really care for mckenzie or justin so i decided to take a break for this date

chelsie and nick on a date
look-there's sunscreen guys--lacey
is it honest co--cel
not quite bro you're at sea level--cel about nick says i'm on top of the world like he's on titanic

jaclyn arrives ready to steal people's boyfriends
her voice doesn't even sound the same--cel
we love jaclyn, but she's looking a little rough
jared is the nicest guy in the house. he can't ditch ashley i even though he's told her he's not interested.
ashley i is so insecure she thinks she can trap a guy by having sex with him--amanda
saved by the bell--amanda (ashley i comes with the date card right as jaclyn asks if jared would say yes to a date)
i feel so bad for jaclyn because i love her so much and she looks terrible and she's acting terrible--cel

tear tally-not nearly as many tears this week

apparently next week is the last week of the show. we're all a little ready for it to end, and we miss the competitions of bachelor pad.

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1 comment:

  1. Who isn't Amber interested in?? I'm getting bored of this show hahaha, is that bad. So sick of Samantha and Joe drama and what the heck is Dan doing with her? I think I may be missing bits and pieces because I play with Bensen or feed him or put him to bed while I'm watching (I'm not as invested in watching it as you obviously) but I get so lost because they all switch directions so many times. But really, I think Amber's interested in more guys than Samantha. I still need to watch last night's show, but that's just my thoughts so far :P


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