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Monday, August 5, 2013

random rambling {trading lives}

kimber, aly, charity, me, jessica

i like a lot of things about my job...the work, the people, the place, the flexibility, etc., but one of the best things is the great friends i have from work. we are definitely missing a few, but several of us got together on saturday night for a super fun girls night. we had dinner at the cheesecake factory, walked around city creek, and ended the night with dessert at kneaders. apparently we like to eat:) i love these girls so much and had the best night talking and talking and talking.

i've thought about this a lot over the years, but kimberly inspired me to write this post the first time we met. i don't talk a lot on this little bloggy blog about being single although i'm sure it's fairly obvious. i have a good life. i really do. i like my life a lot. BUT it really doesn't change the fact that i would rather be married with a family. i don't know how many times i have heard "you're so lucky you're single..." i wish i could say it doesn't bother me, but that's really about the best way to make me mad and fast. it's kind of like me saying "you're so lucky you're preggo sick." i'm so lucky i get to travel, spend my money however i want, buy expensive boots, and eat dinner at 10pm. i recognize i am really lucky. people with children are so lucky they have children, but probably not so lucky about the physical toll it took to get them here.

a lot most of my friends are married, and many of them have kids. i love spending time with them. all of the girls from girls night are married and have kids. a husband and kids can definitely be challenging, but so can being single. there are definite trade offs. wouldn't it be nice if for one day we could trade lives to really see what it's like on the other side? if you could do it, would you? would you give up what you have for what seems like something better? it kind of seems like the grass is always greener type of situation.

i read a blog post recently about having kids on purpose. it made me really happy to know that she really likes her job as a mom and maybe just maybe she would rather be a mom than travel, spend her money how she wants, buy expensive boots, and eat dinner at 10pm. although i often wish life was different than it is, i'm really trying this year to embrace my life and make it the best it can be. so, maybe my answer is no. maybe i wouldn't trade lives if i could. or maybe i would. what about you? let's hear it. and what do you feel so lucky about with your life?


  1. Totally get where you're coming from. My close friends aren't married, but one is about to move in with her bf and I'm sure a proposal isn't far. But a lot of people I was friends with in high school and lost touch with are married and some have kids. I went to a Bachelorette party this weekend and of the 7 girls there, only one other girl and I were not only not married, but single. At breakfast they were all talking about how things change after marriage and they were slightly complaining about it, but I was thinking I wouldn't mind having that complaint.

  2. I loved this post. Thanks for writing it. I married when I was a little older (for Utah standards anyway) and when I was single I was prepared to be single for the rest of my life. There a came a point in my life when I was tired of wishing I had what all my siblings had, and I decided I was going to rock what I had, which was myself and lots of potential to do good. I applied for graduate school, I traveled a lot, and I wanted to change the world. It was my goal. That's the moment I met James. I still plan to change the world, but on a much smaller scale. I have other friends who are single who are doing great things. I don't envy them but I don't feel bad for them either. They are happy and I am proud of all they are doing. I hope some of that makes sense. I love your blog and I appreciate all you do. I also met lots of great people while working and you are one of them.

  3. Grass always seems greener on the other side, right? :-) The way I see it, now is my chance to do everything I want to do without the complications of worrying about a mini me. I know I wouldn't be able to enjoy certain things as much (late nights, sleeping in, time for crafts and having a relaxed budget). Someday we'll look back on days like today and wish we knew how easy it was ;-)

  4. I think it's wonderful that you enjoy the life you have. Even if it's not the life you ultimately want. Sometimes I wish I could be single again...just for one day...but I think really I wouldn't take the offer if it came. I miss certain things, but I'm grateful for all the wonderful little things that come with having my little family.

  5. I think the thing we need to remember is that life is hard. Period. No matter what your circumstances, there are going to be challenges. But someone else's challenges look like a blessing to us, but that doesn't mean they aren't allowed to show weakness. Just because I have kids and others don't doesn't mean I can't ever admit that having kids is hard. Just because you are single and some of us remember that time with fondness doesn't mean you can't admit it is difficult for you.

    If I had never had kids I honestly don't know that I would miss them. I'm not a kid person, I never had "baby fever" I just knew I would regret it later if I didn't have them when I had the chance. Post coming on this soon. Or I could just copy and paste this. . . Ha!

  6. You seem so sweet, I am sure you'll meet someone in time. I rushed into my first marriage, because all my friends were getting married. Now I am happily married to my childhood sweetheart 10 yrs later and never dreamed someone could make me so happy. I think it is when you're not looking that your destiny finds you.

  7. Life throws curve balls at you no matter what you really want or plan for. I've been unhappily married, happily single, then happily married. In our young women's lesson on Sunday, one of the questions the girls asked was "Is it better to be married to the wrong person, or be single for the rest of your life?" Having been married to a loser, I have to say that marriage in general not the end goal, but marriage to the RIGHT person. I admire you for making the most of your situation while you are single and still hope you find someone that will recognize how awesome you are!

  8. Love this post Aubrey. Very sincere and heartfelt.


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