blogging the bach 19.7/19.8

there was a whole heckuva lotta bach this week. i love the bachelor just about as much as anyone, but 5 hours in one week is a bit excessive. who's watching...celsey and i watched the first 3 hours with a little bit of shawn here and there. amanda and alexis joined at the tail end of hour 3 through the end. chris tells all what i saw kelsey in a hideous crocheted doily dress, ashley onion girl's audition tape (how/when did she turn so weird) what i heard "i clearly know less about women than i ever thought i knew"--chris what i thought what was the point of interviewing kelsey? is she not coming to women tell all? i wanted to cry with andi. i am so so so sad about it.still. can anyone please tell me the point of the chris tells all hour? it was a little unnecessary. week 7 i'm not loving starting the show with the rose ceremony, chris does what he wants i guess. these girls are way too excited to go to iowa..it's not that great. i promise. date #1,,,jade...join me in my hometown what i saw farmville-i could never live there.ever what i heard she looks like she got her outfit at buckle.5 years ago,and she's not layering properly--cel he would have to make enough money so i could be a stay at home crafter with an etsy shop--cel (i don't disagree) i would have taken someone a little more outgoing on this date--cel football players=band members #notreal what i thought jade and chris don't have much of a connection. they're not going to make it. date #2...whitney..let's look for love in des moines what i saw  definitely more excitement than when chris saw jade kissing.lots and lots of kissing chris does weird things with his mouth-did we ever establish if he chews? what i heard they take good pictures together. she's a good poser--cel chris being super impressed with whitney because of her hair, her teeth look yellow--cel #truth what i thought whitney and chris seem like a much better pair than jade and chris whitney seems pretty realistic about what she's getting into. i'm sure reality would still kick her in the butt though. date #3...britt, carly, kaitlyn..icy our future together what i saw britt in another crop top and another carly needs to borrow some lipstick from someone.like every other girl there what i heard she's wearing a fringed top. she robbed dolly's clothes--cel about carly's awful attire why do they always have to run away?--cel about britt and chris carly tattle telling on britt #worstideaever i feel like he trusts what they say a little too much--cel i don't understand why this is so awkward--cel--this isn't the first episode of this show. we all know how this show works. britt making a major fool of herself. she definitely should have stopped talking the second she started. you're on the bachelor. you're never going to be the last one until you're the last one--amanda her feelings would be valid if she wasn't on the bachelor--alexis what i thought this is the first time chris has had any sort of real conversations with anyone i really like britt, but she totally showed her crazy this week. being on the bachelor definitely got to her this week. if this was real life, chris would probably date kaitlyn. she started out strong, but she seems a little too far behind at this point week 8 date #1...date with becca from last week what i saw becca has amazing style the most amazing sunset what i heard k. all the crime in des moines..killing me--cel i could do without the sound effects whenever they kiss--alexis what i thought becca got a slow start but seems to have caught up
rose ceremony what i saw bad outfits-they must be running out of dresses chris doesn't care one little bit about what britt has to say what i heard looks like they're all putting on a few lbs--cel they're all in depression because they're in iowa--alexis chris once again throwing someone under the bus beg the producers to let you go buy something else if you've gained too much weight for your dress--cel i'm pretty sure i had that dress in 7th grade. it's out of style--amanda about britt what i thought britt clearly lost her mind, but all of those girls were rude. there must be some short hometowns after spending so much time on this hometown date #1..becca what i saw  i usually love becca's style, but this shirt is awful what i heard i don't really get it. you can't have a boyfriend if you're a virgin?--cel she looks like a salsa dancer--amanda why is her sister acting like her mom?--cel does she want her sister to have a chance?--alexis wait, that's my dream--alexis about the ferris wheel i'm going to put on lots of makeup and get myself a melt--cel and alexis about becca's sister what i thought becca definitely made up for lost time she might be a serious contender for the bachelorette hometown date #2..whitney what i saw whitney is such a skinny  big statement necklaces chris needs a haircut whitney and her sister look nothing alike what i heard what are they going to do all day? she doesn't have parents--amanda she's a fertility nurse not a fertility doctor--amanda what if jade is in that playboy?--amanda does anyone else in the family talk like her?--alexis i feel like you have to say yes if you're on the show and pray for a long engagement--cel about asking for the sister's blessing what i thought obviously the sister is concerned, but has she ever seen this show? after their date in iowa+the end of the hometown...strong contender hometown date #3...kaitlyn what i saw  canada kaitlyn seems a titch underdressed things don't seem to be going as well as they did on the last group date what i heard why is she behind the dumpster?--alexis they're a laugh match for sure--cel how much plastic surgery has that girl had?--shawn about the mom that's the camera--cel when kaitlyn's mom said she sees the light what i thought chris likes kaitlyn but not as much as he likes whitney and becca hometown date #4...jade what i saw no date before meeting the fam they're looking at the photos and we're all freaking out what i heard dark cloud of pornography--amanda i think her step mom got a buckle shirt from a consignment store--amanda i think her mom went and got her hair done--alexis it's so sad all this is coming from her family--amanda his heart just died--amanda juelia dropped the bomb about her husband at a pool party--cel what i thought i can't believe jade showed him the photos/video even if the producers really encouraged it. whoever he picks in the end is going to freak. rose ceremony what i saw these girls need some styling help chris crying what i heard hallelujah--alexis about jade leaving what is whitney's hair doing? it's like a bump it--alexis she got those massive earrings so there's that--cel she's really going home because she didn't look good naked--shawn what i thought i'm surprised how sad he was about jade. it seemed obvious that she was going home, word tally-from all 4 hours farm...2 (is that for real after being in iowa for one whole episode?) journey...1 love...65 amazing...11 (i probably missed a few of these) wife/husband...5 (probably missed some of those too) what i predict kaitlyn has really grown on me since the first few weeks. she is pretty hilarious, but i just don't see it with her. my guess it will be becca and whitney in the end. did you survive all 5 hours this week? what did you think?