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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

blogging the paradise 2.3

i got some snaps on sunday night about the craziness that went down this week. can't even wait to see what happens.
who's watching-celsey and shawn, amanda, alicia and adam, lacey, alexis, megan

i am not loving my post format so we're trying something new this week-quickest recap of what's happening followed by commentary

we all forgot the rose ceremony never finished last week. clare freaks and walks out.
i hate these people, i hope they all get stuck on this island somehow--megan
why does it matter who you she gives a rose to--adam
tanner is kind of a dweeb--alyssa. at least he's not an a hole--megan

it's morning and everyone is already at the bar. samantha arrives-with a date card of course
is joe wearing his sister's shorts?
this is way too perfectly timed--lacey
if we can see your extensions, it's ratchet--megan
there are just like no words--alicia
i can't even explain this--lacey

samantha and joe leave on their date and we all are positive they talked before the show. they're horribly awkward and gross on their date. we all hate joe even worse this week. who knew that was even possible?!? they come back from their date.
he said 100 times he's waiting for samantha--alicia
i still don't understand why they don't just contact these people--cel
why are we seeing crotch shots?-megan, lacey, and me all in unison
they're just replaying the same footage to make it look awkward--megan
the sad part about this is these girls never learn a lesson because they've been on this show before--alicia
can you imagine the amount of chlorine they have to put in bachelor hot tubs--cel

everyone is hanging out. carly gets the date card, and it seems like kirk is having second thoughts. ashley s has a chat with the bartender. dan also seems to be having second thoughts.
you're going on paradise. buy some swim suits--cel
playboy didn't pay her enough--alicia
why are they showing this? because they're trying to fill 3 hours--lacey
that honest company is a b--amanda about joshua's sunburn
what if she gets down with jorge--alyssa
jorge gets a date card--alyssa
no one's loyal--amanda
it's the guys. they're all sluts--megan
i kind of feel like i look like carly--alyssa. you should be her for halloween--megan

megan arrives but not to paradise. she's lost-with cameras following her. she does a little shopping and comes to the beach. 
i feel dumber--cel
she's not pretty and she's not very bright either--amanda
they have a can of pam and spray him down--megan
the grass is the same green. you're trading dumb for dumb--cel

carly and kirk are on a date. we learn she missed her brother's ireland.we're dying.
why didn't someone help her with her hair--cel
why is he on bachelor in paradise--alyssa
dude, you're not going to last long without her--alicia
she still hasn't faced the fact that they're semi breaking up--lacey
how is this all happening in one week?--amanda it's because the boys have the roses this week--alyssa
carly calls her brother and pretty much saves her butt
kirk is pretty sweet. is it for real? or does he feel like he has to do that after that phone call? it seems like he really is for real.
have some class woman--megan

ashley s and dan talk about their relationship. amber comes and things get worse
here comes another breakup--lacey
after 3 weeks these girls are already comfortable. they're hair in buns, jeans, glasses--alyssa
i hate how people incorrectly use the word literally--cel
if she says literally one more time..--alyssa
she should not be drinking--cel

samantha and joe fall in the hot tub and we're disgusted. juelia is heartbroken and feels used-as she should. juelia calls her daughter. everyone realizes joe is a skeez and talks to him about it. joe and juelia talk (with jade and dan present). it's awful. samantha walks in and juelia wants to talk.
i feel violated--alicia
they need to clean that hot tub--lacey
i hope joe gets pushed out to sea on a canoe by himself and is lost forever--megan
so basically all methods possible--alicia about joe talking to sam on social media, and texts, and phone
maybe she was tickling his foot...i'd rather not go to bed visualizing that--megan
he's going to be like the new nick. everyone's going to hate him--cel
joe, i want him to get eaten by a shark--megan
this is hilarious because they're all pretending they're there for any other reason than to get famous--shawn
does he not realize this is being filmed
i just want sam to break joe's heart--alyssa
he had to screw over another girl to get to you. are you ok with that--megan
he feels like they are friends because they're from the same season but they're not actually friends because he's a d bag--cel
just go home and date. why do you have to be on the show to date?--lacey. because they're not on the show to date duh--shawn
what big liars. they're meant for each other--alicia

amber arrives-with a date card of course and also of course asks dan. dan talks to ashley s and this is probably the crazy he's talking about.
for the love, put on a bra--cel
they're really trying to amp this up, anytime they kiss cue the fireworks--megan
they've gotten pretty cheap--lacey
why are they wasting so much time showing us their stupid animals--lacey

TO BE CONTINUED..we are not a fan at all, and the previews make it look like things get pretty crazy the rest of the season. i'm sure the previews are not totally accurate, but we can't wait.

TEAR TALLY-9 (less crying and more attacking this week)

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1 comment:

  1. Haha I love this! And I love the show :) I can't STAND Samantha and Joe ergh!


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